#104: Candice Ackerman / Coached By Candice

0:01 Welcome to another episode of Come Together and we're live Again. Hello. Welcome, Candace. I'm so excited that you're here. Thanks. For doing this, I'm very excited to be here. Thank you for reaching out. Of course, of course, of course. Yeah, it's, it's been funny because I have been, you know, when I called e-mail people, I my follow my, I think I got maybe 30% response rate approximately right, which is not bad.

0:42 But then it goes up like a bunch when I follow up even just once. And like you, you know, like it does. It lets people know that I'm not just a bot or some kind of spam e-mail letting them know what's you know and just just reaching out to them. It's like I said, you're a real life person. Yeah, that's right. It's a, it's two factor authentication. You know, it's, it's one e-mail and two emails. Why don't you tell me just a little bit about yourself and then we can kind of talk about everything we want to talk about. Yeah, sure. So I am in the ecosystem of health and well-being married to an amazing man with three children and their three sons, they 2724 and 20. So it's really been an incredible journey of blending parenthood with the whole ecosystem of health and well-being and where we're at.

1:34 I'm passionate about animals, children, I love the business that we're in. I love making a difference in people's lives. And, you know, getting to speak to people like yourself who are so interested and, and are curious always makes it exciting and, and different to have these kind of conversations. Definitely, Yeah, Yeah. Well, I mean, that's I, that's kind of a push me to get started doing this. One of the main factors was like, I just feel like I need more, like I think more interesting people and types of people in my life, you know, and you know, and I used to travel quite a bit for work when I was single, you know, I, and it was pretty much voluntary.

2:18 I didn't really need to if I didn't want to. But you know, we, you know, I saw medical equipment and if there's a big ultrasound machine or a DEXA machine going to customer, then I'll take an opportunity to take a road trip or I'd meet the customer when the freight company arrived and I got to check out some awesome, awesome cities around the country, big cities, small cities. And I love just stopping in. Like I would ask where locals hang out and then I would just stop by wherever like the, you know, the local scene was, whether it's a bar or coffee shop or, you know, just wherever many people would hang out. And I'd love talking to people and every America is amazing because there's it's a town and city and state has like so much of their own personalities and so much of their own like, you know, style of human, flavor of human that I was like, I got to just keep on doing more of this. I think this is amazing.

3:14 So it kind of pushed me to start. Well, you know what I mean? To that point, the exciting thing about the US is that literally every city is like its own country and the opportunity to travel and just this melting pot of immigrants, which really the foundation of what the US is all about is just so interesting. From the culture to the food, to the colours, the smells, the the architecture, it's really an exciting place. And the luxury and the privilege to travel and meet these people and live like a local is, is what grows. It grows your passion, it just grows your outlook and it just give you a different perspective on the world.

3:57 Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I think that I love, I love touristy things too, because they exist for a reason. You know, cliches are fun, but, you know, but like, I feel like you get down to like the real rawness and real grittiness. And I, you know, I feel the same thing actually about like, and I noticed that that's what I liked about the podcasting world was it could be as authentic as you want it to be. It could be as polished as you want it to be. It could be as raw as you want it to be. And there's no right or wrong, it's just whatever your flavour is. And then just go and find, you know, and go find it. Have you got a chance? When did you You said, You told me you came to the States, what, four or five years ago? Yeah, absolutely. In December of 2020 and. Good timing.

4:41 Tell me about it. Especially because I'm from South Africa originally. And we had like really hectic lockdowns. Like we weren't, we weren't allowed to leave our homes and only one person was allowed to go to the grocery store at a time. And unless you were an essential worker, literally essentially you weren't allowed to move. And so when we arrived, nobody was wearing a mask. Kids were in school, businesses were open, people were out celebrating. And we were like, what happened was this, Did this really just only happen in South Africa? But obviously we know that it didn't. So. Yeah, so. It started so COVID started in South Africa before it hit the states.

5:24 No, no, no, it was all at the same time. It was all around the same time. Yeah, I mean, there was talk about it and then all of a sudden it literally just spread. One month they were talking about there was this thing happening in the US and then the next minute there was patient number one, I think in South Africa that had been in France and came and then it was just like wildfire in the whole world. You kind of just watched like this Domino. That was crazy. That was. Crazy and it was what just happened. So when we arrived it was Oh my goodness gracious me. This is just, this is just crazy. So it was a good place to be during COVID to see that people functioned and lived and, and despite all the stories we were being told, laugh was continuing and people were doing laugh, right.

6:16 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, some people were, you know, some people were I, I, I, yeah. I was living at the time. I was living in Washington, in Seattle. I lived there for a year with my friends. And it's actually funny because I was never ever, ever really politically aware in general. And so like when I had told friends and family that I was moving to Seattle, I would get very mixed responses based on what my, my friend, you know, who I was talking to. But I never really thought that it would impact, like, it never really did impact day-to-day life, right? So I was like, OK, so let's say it's a predominantly left city, like who cares? Like that doesn't affect me.

6:58 When I go to the supermarket, I'm saying hi to the cashier. It doesn't affect the, you know, the group of friends I'm going to choose to hang out with, the beer I'm going to drink or the weed I'm going to smoke. You know, like, you know, none of that matters. So but then when COVID hit, you got to see really the different responses across the states also, which was fun and really, really interesting to observe. And what I thought was cool was that I was going back and forth between New York and Washington at that point. I'm originally from New York, and then I was living in Washington and in New York life did just come to like a grinding halt. And that was it in Washington. I don't know whether there's something about West Coast mentality or not in Washington, people were like essentially shut down, but people were still continuing life outdoors and doing their best to like kind of keep on living.

7:49 And so, you know, our days actually became full of and F when I was still working from home, our days became full of walks to the park and going down into the lake and, you know, hanging on our backyard. And like, if you want to have friends over, you don't hang out in front of ATV. You hang out in the backyard because that's open space, it's safe, you know, whatever it is. And it just turned out to have been awesome in that kind of, you know, manifestation, the way it manifested. So it's cool to like, again, you know, the state's eclecticness, to see the different responses even. And you know, I think to that point about you spoke about connecting and connection and hanging out with people, so many people in, in the very harsher environment, environments lost that level of connection and really craved that human connection.

8:40 And people became introverted and people became scared and people became so isolated that they're isolated themselves. And it's taken a lot of a lot of people a long time to open themselves up again to trust being with people. It's not trying. You're in. Experience haven't done. It. Yet, yeah, from little kids to teenagers, that gap in time where they were really harsh restrictions in place pulled people apart. It didn't bother. And well, we blessed that we're not in the space and time anymore. And please God, we never will be so. Yeah, yeah. What was what, what was it like as a parent observing at that point would have been what, like a 15 year old, 20 year old and like 18 year old. I mean, it's actually funny because my siblings, I'm 29. My youngest sibling is 14 and we were all home around the same time, but I'm curious about the consequences. Do you notice educationally, socially, habits? Yeah, so it was interesting because we had planned our move to the US and I had given school for my youngest. I'd given them notice and basically lockdown happened and I'd given them notice and pretty much a few weeks later he was, he was ending school.

10:09 So it was the first time that the US had ever had an international student online. So he then changed his hours. He came onto American time. We were going to bed and he was just in the middle of his school day and waking up in the morning and he'd be sleeping because he had just finished homework. So that was a real change and he was living the US life virtually. How do you like that? Sorry, did. He like it. He, he did, I mean, he, he's a very curious person with lots of bold opinions and views. And so to, to have that like that look into a world that he was going into but wasn't quite present in, it was exciting for him.

10:57 And of course, it was totally different. And the whole educational system is different. So he kind of led an American life and on his own time zone. And then my, my two older boys, the middle one had just finished high school and had applied to College in the US and had gotten in and couldn't come. And so I had to defer, defer and my oldest had finished his undergrad and he looked and he was coming for his masters in the US and same thing had to defer, defer. So watching the two older guys, they landed up doing a course, they landed up brainstorming like where to what next? Kind of tapping into their, their, their personal genius and, and entrepreneurial spirits. And we had.

11:46 A good time in that process. Are you and your husband in that process? So they're create how? Involved. Are you guys in their process in terms of like what to do next? Do they welcome your input? Do you guys like them kind of just do their own thing? How does that work? So we have always been like completely open, transparent, we talk about everything. We nothing is off limits as far as discussions are concerned. But it was a collective decision as a family to come to the US. Everybody had brought in coming to the US and so that was easy. But what do you do with these beautiful young man's that are bright and eager and full of adventure, new possibilities and then you shut down and they can't go anywhere.

12:29 So watching them embrace, as I said during a couple of courses, we when we got wind what was happening, we set up a home gym. So, you know, the whole focus went into, you know, keeping ourselves fit and healthy and just having endless conversations. And it was about around about that time where we came up with the name for our business that we have in the US. And it was a time of of a lot of growth and opportunity and getting to know each other without any interruptions. And I know that sounds crazy and weird, but with the everyday humdrum of life, you never get down into those real deep, beautiful conversations.

13:13 And the gift of that situation was that's exactly what we had. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds, it sounds awesome. It sounds like, it's funny because I feel like COVID was either especially the beginning, like, you know, the first like couple of months was either the best thing to happen to a lot of families or the worst thing to happen to people, you know, I mean, I know I the divorce rate exploded, you know, alcoholism exploded, you know, the, you know, friends, family members, everyone was ripping each other's heads off or having the best time in the entire world, you know, and like, it was very, very rarely that there was like a middle ground. But I think what was so interesting looking back about it, I think there was even a kind of sense of awareness of it at the time is how much fat there is on our day-to-day life. That could just be like cut out that we don't necessarily need. And that has to do with our jobs. It has to do with what we whether you know, going to the supermarket over, you know, or doing errands versus spending time with our family.

14:16 Oh, there are alternative methods for that kind of stuff to get done. Could it be done effectively and while building your relationships and like pursuing your, your hobbies and passions? And like, I think that starting 2020, you know, March 2020 till today, people are real. Like in the US, there's been movements I've, I've seen all over the place now for four day work weeks. Like we just don't need, like, we don't need 5 dates, you know, like we don't need 6 days, only seven days. Like, and then, and people are talking about how remote jobs are good or bad. By the way, I see your expression and I'll let you, I'm curious, I'm curious what you think of that. But I think that it's almost inevitable that as technology gets better and we find ourselves a little bit more obsolete in terms of like the way the world just runs, that we can either choose to be disciplined and effective and loving and human, or we're going to be, you know, Alcoholics that are, you know, that are bored out of our minds and breaking up, you know, and, and the divorce rate will fire up and like, they'll probably be a little bit of both, you know. But yes, what do you think?

15:20 No, you know. I, I think what COVID did do and not to linger on, on the whole COVID thing is that it really brought the world to one point where everybody was happy to use any form of technology to connect, right? So all of a sudden you don't have to be in person to attend a meeting. You don't have to wait to get on that flight to see somebody. It allowed and it does allow for immediate interaction as we're having today. But what it doesn't replace is that you can't build a culture unless you're together. I'm sorry. About that, that was my fault. Give me your thought.

16:00 I'm sorry. Please. No worries. So as I say, not to linger on the COVID thing because we've come so far, it did allow us all to be able to connect globally. We didn't. You don't have to jump on a plane. You can have a meeting, you can connect like we are doing today and you feel like you're with the person and it's to a level quite intimate. However, it doesn't allow you to build a culture. From a business perspective, if everybody's placed all over the world and all over the country, you can't build a culture and that can be replaced. The human connection can never be replaced. Sitting in front of somebody, sealing, seeing their their emotions and and seeing how they do things and working collaboratively is what counts. So whilst I think that there's a place for it, nothing will ever replace human one-on-one contact. And we need it.

16:55 We do. We do, but, but I, I think that a lot of people are not fortunate enough to have their place of work be the place where they have their emotional connections or even like positive connections, you know. And so for those people, you know, I have friends, for example, that are accountants that don't need to be in the office except, and there are particular times of the year where busy season they do and they do say, listen, it works a lot better when there's a, a, a hustle in the air and there's some enthusiasm in like, and it's wonderful. But the other seven months of the year, 6 months of the year when it's dead, you know, and they don't go, they don't have to go in. Then the benefit is that I've worked remotely with friends before.

17:36 You know, like when we when we moved to when I moved to Washington, I was the four was the three other friends. All of us were single, all of us were doing different professions and three of us were in the house 90% of the day, you know, and, and we got that and we got that best friendship. You know, they were able to all, you know, we were able to hang out and we did our own things and we were going together. And so it gives us the flexibility to be able to kind of pursue those friendships if we're not lucky enough to have them at work. But if work is your culture and like work is that like if you're a teacher, if you're, you know, if you're, you know, if you work at a gym, you're working at a very people forward kind of people facing position, then you definitely want that culture and you definitely want to be embodied, you know. Yeah.

18:18 And. But to your point, you were living with friends and so you you could nurture relationships. A lot of people live on their own, Yeah. They live with a spouse. And so, you know, how much productivity is there really? How much are they getting from the person they're with? Or there is nobody with them. But a dog in some cases isn't even a dog. So they, their level of productivity isn't there and their level of being needed. And there's something about being needed, being that little cog in the wheel that pulls everything together with without that, some people really, really struggle. True. Yeah, Yeah, I think, I think it depends on the job. I think it depends on the person on the job. But I think that I think that it's a really cool.

19:00 It's it was inconceivable even 10 years ago, you know, the kind of flexibility that we have or, you know, when people started realizing that Instacart was an option for getting, you know, groceries. And instead of me spending 45 minutes going to the supermarket to get a couple of things for dinner, you know, we can order that and I could get a couple of my kids to bed at night. Like that's such a, you know, and that and that changes everything and it really does, it can change our connections. So I'm excited about, I think that. So, you know, COVID good or bad or, you know, whatever it was in the day. I think like everything in the world, you could take, you know, there's good you could take from it and there's not. So I there's so many things I wanted to talk to you about.

19:41 Walk away. Listening. Let's talk about parenting a little bit. What have you learned raising three boys? The old has been 27, you said? Yeah. Old has been 2724. Well, he turns 27 in in three weeks time and 20. Yeah, so. Tell me if if you have recommendations, right, you know, general rules that you found worked or didn't work in terms of raising your kids. You want to elaborate on some of these ideas? Yeah, sure.

20:22 It's pleasure. So one thing I do know for sure, you don't get a manual when you're a parent, right? So it's, it's some it's, it's something that comes from within and you as a parent do the best that you can. And, and you just given the privilege of just growing these beautiful gifts and children are, and I said earlier and an absolute privilege and and gift to have around. For me as a parent, I have found that what has worked for me is always being the adults in the room, not responding badly to situations, right? Children Act up, they say things, they do things for attention.

21:05 And you don't want to meet that need with negative feedback, right? So from my perspective is always showing up for my kids in whichever shape, way of form that they need. Always knowing that no matter what, I have their back. I may not like their behavior or what they've done, but I I'll always love them. I'll always bet for them. But they need to stand accountable for what they do and say as well. And they have to develop their own sense of who they are and and not just follow the status quo. How do you encourage? That.

21:49 When they talk to you about their own needs and desires and when they were younger, when they were at school, if, if, if they had uncomfortable run insurance with their friends or, you know, typical school grounds situations is, is listening and, and you know, questioning and asking and not blaming and, you know, letting them come to conclusions on their own and troubleshooting and what ifs and just listening and, and holding space for them. I have found to be, you know, very advantageous. And even now, you know, it's like, do you want me to listen? Do you want me to give you input? Whatever you need from me, You tell me what you want and kind of growing up and and being with my boys in that respect, I was privileged when they were young.

22:43 I was with them. It was it was it was beautiful to watch how three different people had three different needs and still have three different needs. And I have to address all three of them differently. And just, you know, there's something about gentle parenting, which is, which is a beautiful thing. And especially having boys, people think you've got to be super tough. And, you know, boys are rough and rugged and you know, they can handle everything. Boys still need to be dealt with gently. Boys need to be taught. Boys are so. Sensitive so. Sensitive.

23:24 Amazing. It's crazy, right? But they need to be taught how to how to treat women. They they need to be taught that chivalry isn't a dying art, that they need to they need to have you always. Known this, have you when you have you like did you, is this something that you had learned or read about or picked up as like you were being a parent throughout the years? Or is that something that you knew going into being a parent? So like when you're, you know, or was it because I know, for example, my mom has a very similar perspective to you. Yeah. When I, when I was 5, she did not have that perspective, you know, that she has now, you know, and but I know that she, you know, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're a family of Orthodox Jews.

24:08 And I know that she spends a lot of time contemplating and working on her, working on her mannerisms and her personality and her personality traits. And she's always trying to be better and learn more about people and herself and how to be a better mom. But that's, I feel like that's a pretty rare thing. I feel like that's not what every mom in the world is like, you know? And it's wonderful to hear that you're, that you're, that you're describing the same thing. But did you always have that, or is that something that came to you over the years? I so, so desperately wanted to be a mom. I mean, for me, that was like one of the highest accolades and, and an absolute privilege to be able to be called mom.

24:50 So I went in with very clear ideas and routines and disciplines and principles and all these things that I wanted for my children, thinking that they were absolutely the right way. But as I said, you know, each, each child presented with different needs and wants. And so I had to evolve how I was from my first one to my second one to my third one. Is that hard? You know, initially I wasn't really aware of it, but as their little personality started developing, then like, OK, well, actually you come from the same DNAI cannot believe that you come from three different planets.

25:32 But yes, absolutely. So it, it was and it wasn't I, I more celebrated seeing how individual they really were and, and trying to meet them where they were at with their needs. And to your mom's point of trying to grow and, and bet ourselves and be more present for my children as they've gotten older, Of course, my parenting style has evolved and it will continue to evolve. I was having a conversation with with one of my sons today and that's exactly what I was saying. You never stop parenting, but your parenting style evolves and you you go into different relationships at different times with your children and it's exciting and. I think that, yeah.

26:23 Go ahead, please. You didn't. Yeah, Yeah. It's just remarkable that there isn't a rule book, and it's remarkable that what worked when they were five didn't work when they were 8. And, and, and, and so we go along the way. I think too, a lot of parents feel under pressure and they feel very stressed about seem to be doing the right thing, seem to be the, the, the perfect parents. It's not about being perfect. It's just about being good enough. It's about being there for your children, loving them. It's about helping them to see what lies within them and helping them to know that it's OK to make a mistake and start again.

27:04 And I'm sure in five years time I would have evolved more and my children will get better things out of me then than they did when they were younger. But what I do know is that they're a gift. I love being a mom. And just if their mom's listening out there, just be kind to yourself. Just love them and laugh with them. It's not so serious. It doesn't have to be perfect, but you think a lot of people need to. Hear that? Sorry you think a lot. Of people need to hear that they do. I think a lot of people do need to hear that, yeah. Yeah. I wonder what contributes to that.

27:46 I wonder why, because it's so one of the things I was talking to my friend, you know, I'm one of for some of my friends. It's funny, I have different feet in different worlds and depending, you know, and depending on what world I'm in, my conversations with my friends are super, super different with one another. And, and one friend was asking me what it's like to have a kid because I have, I'm 29 with a 2 year old and a one month old. And so I'm, I'm at the starting point over here. And, and one of the things he asked me like maybe three or four months into my son being born was my oldest being born was what's the most surprising thing to you? And I said it's really, really hard, but I'm surprised how, like, I usually have a low tolerance for challenging things, you know, And like mentally like I'm like, I don't want to do things.

28:36 And like, it was like, it's amazing how I want, like, I want to do the hard work. I want to do the hard stuff. And like, it's not fun. Like, I can't tell you, like, it's fun waking up in the middle of the night. But like, when you wake up in the middle of the night and like you're there for that moment and the kid goes back to bed and, and like everything is good again. And you know, that you, you know, had been responsible. You've responded to the situation appropriately. Like that's like, that's the best thing you could do for yourself, you know? And, but I also feel like it comes naturally. So I wonder what happens along the way that people kind of lose that labour of love. I'm not so sure it's about losing the labor of love. I think a lot of parents are have very demanding careers.

29:20 Sometimes they in ill health themselves, sometimes they struggling emotionally or mentally and they don't know how to shop for their kids. I mean, there's a lot of reasons. I don't think any parent knowingly or wantingly wants to give up. But we sometimes people take their life experiences from when they were growing up and they copy and pasted and they aren't able to break a cycle. So they they perceive parenthood to be a hard thing. They don't necessarily deal with their own baggages or stories that they came from. And so it's hard. And then the other parents where they go, hey, this is this is how I grew up.

30:03 It was great, but I feel like I can do it differently. I feel like I want more from it. And I feel that you have a duty and responsibility to show up in the best way, shape, and form that you can. And there is no right or wrong way if your intentions are honorable and good and full of love and it's full of nurture and it's full of fun. And of course, you've got to have rules and and boundaries in place. But this is a beautiful time, as you know right now. And your days are very long, right? But these years are so few, and then you're out of it. Everybody's sleeping and everybody's eating and everybody's at sport and everybody's got friends and the bat mitzvahs and bar mitzvahs and celebrations and everything's happening, right.

30:50 And, and then all those years that you would. I wish this part would hurry up. They're gone. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember the movie? Did you watch the Adam Sandler movie? Click. Do you remember that movie? Vaguely, but I. The premise of the movie, it's supposed to be a comedy. I watched it, I watched it once and I never revisited because it made me cry and feel so intensely that I was like, I'm not prepared. I don't know if I'm ever willing to do that to myself again. But it's a Adam Sandler comedy drama ish. Then the premise is that you get this remote that you could like Fast forward his way through life, but he can't go back at a certain point. And so, and then the thing learns from him and so learns what to skip and learns what to deal with or not.

31:35 And he skips his fights with his wife initially and he's having so much fun with it and he's skipping, you know, having to pick his kid up from school. I don't want to deal with that. Let me just Fast forward to when that's over. And then at the end, like, and then basically he skipped all of his responsibilities, which was essentially his whole life. And then he just woke up and he was an old man. He was about to die and like, and that was it, you know, and I mean, it wasn't a very subtle metaphor at all. You know, I mean, it was extremely not subtle in a very Adam Sandler kind of way. But, you know, I, I, I remember, I think I was maybe 1615 or 16 years old and I was in my room. It was like 9 to 10:00 PM Saturday night and I'm just bawling my eyes out and, and, and I was like, I don't want that to happen to me. I don't want that to happen to me. But time is something I always had, I think, since one of my biggest fears in general in life is that I'm going to run out of time before I do everything I want to do. And so I try to cram everything in all the time, which leads to burnout a lot.

32:38 But I'm learning to balance that and change the mentality that by burning out, I'm actually holding myself back longer than if I just let myself go a little easier, you know, while I'm going and. Also, being in the moment, you know it's right. It's like always being behind the camera, capturing the perfect moment. But the moment came and went, yes. Yes, and you. Present. That's right. That's right. I've noticed that, yeah, the last, the last probably 2 1/2 few months of my life had been, had been like that. And I hear and I, I guess it's a good thing to talk about.

33:22 And I think that it's really important and relatable. And I think that a lot of people have this, you know, have this feeling too. So I don't even feel like I even can cut anything out to like make my, to be, I don't know where to be even begin to make myself be more present in the moment. You know, like I think that being in the moment requires effort, right. But if you're burnt out because you're expanding all your effort on other things, but I just don't know what to cut out. I can't cut out being a husband. I can't cut out working. I can't cut out being a dad, you know, I can't cut out being healthy and exercising, you know? So like, it's, I think I understand why a lot of people feel that way, you know? Yeah. And and I think again, it's being, it's you've got to be gentle on yourself and be calm to yourself and prioritize like everything you want to do to have to do it today.

34:12 You know, can you space it out? I know a little while ago when you and I had a chat, you said Shabbos is such a special time for you because it's your time to connect with your family and your community and spend time together. And if 124 hour period in a week affords you that, you're a rich man you. Think so. Absolutely right. People live in the same home. People can go days and weeks without talking, just the mundanities of life and, and, and, and, you know, your Shabbos gives you an opportunity to, to really, really connect to the deeper level because you're not watching TV, you're not on social media, You're not, you're not doing anything but being present with the people around you, having great conversations, playing games together, sharing memories, you know, talking about family times and things like that.

35:11 It's, it's a special time. Yeah. Yeah. So that in. Itself is a great thing and and we do busy our lives and you know, like you said, you've got Instacart now you can order the meal and get to spend time and bath your baby and put him to bed at night, right? And if you go to grocery shopping, you wouldn't be able to do that. So I think it's about also picking and choosing where your priorities actually lie. And you don't have to do everything every day. It's some things that you can just skim a little bit of, but not when it comes to your health and well-being. You know that would be a priority they. Want to talk about that a little bit should we talk about health and well-being a little bit sure, sure. Well, why don't you, why don't you lead the way of what you think a typical healthy day for the average Joe should be? Or you could tell me about your healthy day that you that your ideal healthy day.

36:02 So. For me, my my typical healthy day is waking up from a good night's sleep, right? And for me, that's your. Your good day starts the previous night. Exactly right. Because it sets the tempo for my day. If I've had a good night's sleep and I've had good recovery, I wake up, I'm I'm feeling energized, I'm feeling motivated and I'll have some of my supplements and water and a good cup of coffee and I'll go down to what supplements. Do you take like vitamins I take? Vitamins, I have a lot of them. Well, I've got a few of my toolbox that I do like to take Yeah, I take vitamins and I take some supplements. I really like rehydrate and one of my favorite bean elements. I find that it really boosts me.

36:56 I I did you feel a tangible. Difference in your day when you started with elements or not completely. Really, I really, really do. I, I think that balance of, of sodium and, and the electrolytes and everything just it fuels my body, it nourishes my body. It definitely helps me with focus and it gives me energy. So if I. If I were to wake up right, I, I, I like, I prefer to jog in the morning, especially this time of year, right. It's well. Outside. You know, so it's either early morning or late at late at night, I wake up, I roll over, have a cup of water with elements in it. And immediately it's good.

37:37 You know, I'm energized for my run or I, I, I, I feel like I'm like it has an immediate impact on my overall performance. Mm Hmm. Yeah, you feel that way. Because I mean, I feel that way. No, no, I haven't. Taken element before actually. I'm asking. No, I'm asking. Yeah, I'm asking. Yeah, absolutely. So I definitely do. It technically energizes me. I, I feel like my body's nourished enough for me to go out and train in the morning, whether to run with I'm doing strength training, whether I'm just going for a walk, whatever I do for me, it definitely works. So I'll wake up, I'll do that, I'll have my coffee with my collagen in it and I'll go for a workout with, as I said, that's strength training, a run on the bike, whatever I'm going to do. I just love the process of moving my body. I love feeling strong.

38:30 I love feeling vibrant. So having a good workout. And I'm also at the stage in my life where if I can only get 20 minutes in or 30 minutes in today, it's good enough. I'd rather go do that than not do anything, you know, come back and take a shower and have a good protein rich meal. For me, protein is really the the food that sustains me and I feel it builds muscle. For me it and it just give a big. Breakfast, a Big Breakfast or a medium sized breakfast or like or do you have a big lunch? How do you how do you space out your meals so. Typically I have three meals a day and I eat like a king for breakfast for lunch and a pauper for dinner.

39:18 And yeah, I'm least hungry by the end of the day. And the the beginning part of the day is I'm like super hungry. And if I get the right macros in in the morning, I'm golden for the day. If I don't eat rats in the morning, the rest of the day. Eggs. Yogurts, you know, stuff like that. So no I. I pretty much eat more of AI love smoothies with like chia seeds and flax seeds in it and good protein powder nut butter. So fiber, you know, fat fiber, protein. I get all of that in in and I found that that satiates me. And then lunch is always a protein and vegetables and and dinner again, something lighter, but protein and and vegetable heavy for me. So I choose that it works for me. It sustains my muscles.

40:09 It it helps me with with muscle growth, especially being I'm in my 50s. So you know, for a woman to to protect her body as she gets older and for a man as well, you need protein, you need strong bones, you need strong muscles. You've got to be able to carry your body weight. And your your nutrition feeds into that. I'm very much eating the rainbow. I don't, I don't subscribe to processed foods at all. I don't, yeah, I don't do processed foods. I try and limit sugar as much as possible. I do read labels. I'm one of those people that you ever get. Sick.

40:51 Thank God, not often. I'm, I'm healthy and and and I monitor my my, my metabolic health very, very closely. Oh, do you? Yeah, I really do. And how do you do? That how does someone measure their how does someone keep track of their metabolic health so. I use I have a functional medicine doctor, so I prefer to go down that route than than a traditional doctor. I like to understand the science behind things and I, I love to understand how my body is working and almost have a helicopter view, not just looking at, I've come in with a sore throat. Well, here we go. Off you go. You know, I kind of want to understand the whole ecosystem of my body. So I have my bloods done every six months, OK. And I use a company called function Health and they they put it in the dashboard for me and I'm able to track and monitor you sound like.

41:47 A Huberman advertisement element and function and everything like that. I don't know. Well, I'm I'm not trying to. Be. I know it's. Excellent. I think it's amazing. It's amazing that you keep track of all this because I think that I noticed. I want you to continue to suck. I just noticed that when you hear at first about everything that you're doing, it's the most overwhelming thing in the world. And I think that in reality, it's just, if you just think I just want to be a little bit healthier today than I was yesterday. And like you just live every day like that. You kind of find that you kind of fall into a general pattern that's pretty easy to maintain anyway. Like I'm sure you don't think very much about how difficult your routine is to maintain while you're doing it every day all the time. You're like, this is what I like, I love to do this and it feels good.

42:34 And you know you're being healthy and taking care of yourself. Absolutely. And you know, I think if you want anything in life, the hard work's never the hard part, right? It's committing to it. And I often tell people it's progress over perfection. Don't be hard on yourself. I was having a chat with the gentleman yesterday and he was saying, well, I lost 90 lbs two years ago, and then two weeks ago I started again. But then I remember when I lost the 90 lbs, the one night I had a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich. And then I fell off the wagon and I said, and he said, well then I let the wagon roll away and I said, and he said, and then I just let it all go. And I said, why? Why didn't you just enjoy the peanut butter and Jelly sandwich and your next meal get back on it? And I, I do feel that people are very hard on themselves and if they're not committed 105,000% then it's just not good enough. And so then why even do it?

43:30 And it's as you say, and every day just committing to being healthier is, is what I strive for. So I don't see it as as work, but I see the benefits in my body and, and where I'm at at my age and where I want to go. And I want to I want to age young so. I think, I think and there's no doubt you will, right? I mean, I can't imagine anything. I mean, and you go the rest of your day, the rest of this ideal healthy day, but nothing in this says you shouldn't be running around. So you're 110 years, you know, 110 years old if you keep doing this, you know, I mean, as long as. You're healthy. I mean, there's no point watching 110 if you're not healthy. Right, right. So my grandfather was 92 or three and he was walking 3 or 4 miles a day. He lived alone, took care of himself, cleaned, cleaned the house himself and, and you know, and he just always took care and he always ate like he was never crazy about anything. He's always ate clean and very simple and went for his walks and took care of everything and did jumping jacks. And 9293 was just totally, totally healthy. So I can't imagine that like living, you know, avoiding processed foods, moving around, you know, by the way, taking vitamins is something I like, I started, I started doing it. I look forward to it.

44:46 Like I'm excited about it. And I feel I've never felt older than when I say that, but like it's true. And like, you know, like I, I take vitamin D and vitamin C and iron and, and it's actually probably one of the things I feel like talk about how, how you actually feel the impact. I've combated getting sick so many times in the last month, month and 1/2 with just making sure to get a good night's sleep. You know, like when I really feel like the waves about to crash down on me, I get a good night's sleep. I take the, you know, I take, I take my vitamins every day and I get, you know, I get outside to get some fresh air and it just pushes it off and pushes it off and it slowly, slowly recedes each day and then you're back to normal again. It's crazy.

45:32 It's really amazing. And, and again, you taking care of yourself, you're listening to your body, you're getting sleep, you're getting outside, you're getting natural sunlight, you're getting fresh air and you're listening to your body. And especially at your stage, it's very, very challenging because your kids are so young. So they coming home with especially the the older one. I'm sure he's in Krish in play school. So he's he's coming home with all the bugs. So your immune system is is farting as much as his little immune system is. So to keep yourself healthy is is amazing and well.

46:12 I'm not going to work, you know you're doing. We can carry on. Yeah, protecting our guts and, and, and building our immunity is critical. And exercising, moving our bodies is a gift and it's a superpower, you know. So if you can carry on doing all those things and and throwing in some extra things, if you have access to a sauna or to a cold plunge or just standing under a cold shower, do you do that? You do. You saw it on Cold Plunge. I do. I do. I used to be a lot better at cold plunging, but my body absolutely loves the heat, so I really go for the heat. I love.

46:53 I love the detox, the detoxification of a sauna. I love the muscle recovery that I feel when I'm in the sauna. I feel like relaxed. I know it's good for me. Cardiovascular and, and if the red light therapy's in there, I know it's good for my skin and you know, so I love that kind of thing. The cold's amazing as well, the rush of endorphins and if you've got aches and pains, it's, it's really great for bringing down inflammatory, your inflammation in your body. So all those different modalities just play into that whole ecosystem of living a healthy life. You know, none of them are 100% essential, that if you can throw them in, they're great.

47:36 Yeah. So when you're coaching people all this, it's so funny because all this sounds like a lot and I understand where you're everyone, everyone in the world's coming from. Because I was this way, my, my wife kind of got on the like, I always wanted to be healthy. About two years ago, a year and a half ago, I went to the doctor and I'm 64 and they're like give out and they're like you're about, you're 225. You're just, you're just on the edge of overweight. I just there and like just below it. But like you're vet, you're close to it. And so I was like, you know, I just want to be healthy. I don't need to be in perfect shape. I don't need to be anything crazy. I just want to be a little, I want to be healthy. So I started jogging and I started just cutting out stupid bread that I knew I didn't need.

48:21 And then like in that, I began getting exposed to how bad the processed foods that we eat in general were. And I saw the almost literally, almost immediate impact of the combination of jogging and just cutting out of the processed foods. And I was like, this is incredible. And then my wife was like, well, we used to go for get rid of our, our seed oils. And I'm like, I don't know about that. And she was like, I used to get he used to get rid of your beer. And I'm like, I don't know about that. I used to take vitamins and like, and each step along the way I was like, you're going to, you know, this is just going a little too far. It's a little too crazy, you know, for me. And then every single time, like, but I always feel better and like there's always something I like I want to do. And I'm like, wait a minute, when I feel so much better, I have more energy to do more things. I'm always running around and like, I, you know, again, I teach, I, I teach, I do sales, I do the podcast. I, I'm part of my community.

49:18 I, I, I go to synagogue 323 times a day. I, you know, I'm, I'm constantly on the go and I need every advantage I can get, you know, so like, and so I, I stopped even thinking about it like crazy or not. And I'm just thinking like, oh, how can I be better? Like, how can, how, how can this help me get, you know, even better and even better than before? So I think that that's great for me to have realized that. But for a lot of people especially that need a or want a coach or like incentivize to get a coach, I could imagine that it's a uphill battle for you right to convince them to to start changing their their ways, especially if they don't want to do it themselves to begin with necessarily.

50:03 So, you know, people that come looking for coach actually do want to make a change. They don't have the time to just chat to somebody for the sake of chatting it chatting to them. And you know that one small change leads to the next change, which leads to the next change. And before you realize what you're doing, you're, you're in the ecosystem of becoming healthier and healthier and healthier. And as you start feeling stronger and healthier and more capable, and you feel like you're making the right decisions for your body and you can see the results thereof, there's nothing stopping them, right?

50:46 But it's it's helping them to to break those limiting beliefs that exactly like that gentleman yesterday. Well, if I had one bad meal, that's it. It's broken. I can't carry out. Well, of course you can. You're bigger than that, right? So it's helping breaking. Well, I only get to this and then I revert back and I put on those 20 lbs again, breaking those limiting beliefs, helping them to understand how to read a label, a simple thing like a label, if it's got, if you can't pronounce it, you shouldn't put it in your body, right? That's one of the most. Sad things that I ever started doing and it makes everything so much more challenging. It's so hard. But but we put things in in our bodies that that are almost nuclear factor level.

51:29 I mean, yeah, yeah. And and so when you start helping people to to break these limiting beliefs, you help educate them on what they want, understanding what they want, and then helping them to take the steps towards it. And they start seeing the results and they start making themselves a priority. Like your wife said, I'm making myself a priority. Why don't we do this? And you, you, you got on the program and together you almost accountability coaches to each other, right? Yeah. Yes or no? Well, I wouldn't say to each other, but I, I have an accountability coach, yes. So, you know, you got an accountability coach and that's what helps you and the decisions that you're making and, and the progress that you're making is going to impact your children's lives as well.

52:22 So when somebody comes and they start making these changes and, and they feel empowered and they feel like they're really making a difference and the metrics start changing and, and they're feeling vibrant and they're feeling healthier. They want to go to the next level. But people do need to be held accountable and people do need a sounding board and then letting them know that they need to self advocate. So if you, if you're unwell and you are going to the doctor and you're seeking medical help, educate yourself. Go and do the research, go and ask questions. It helps with you getting to know your body. It helps getting to know whether the person that is taking care of your health alongside you is as invested in you as you are. And so there's so many different levels to the coaching that's interesting.

53:12 That's a really, really that last sentence that you just said. Make sure the person that is across from you is as invested in your health as you are. That's, that's the entire, that's people's entire problem with the medical world today is that we don't feel like that's the case or people are losing trust in the fact that's the case. Yep, exactly. Thanks to to find that person. And it's OK if you change a doctor and a doctor and a doctor and doctor. You keep changing until you find that person that is as invested in you as you are in yourself. Because together you got to navigate the rest of your life right, and you've got to make the right decisions for your health.

54:02 Yeah, I was talking to a doctor. I'll send you the episode that I did with her. I think I told you about this. I think we talked about this Allison Lovett and and and we're saying that you need, you know, I think you should have a doctor of of health and a doctor of medicine. You know, you have a doctor of, of someone that could prescribe you, you know, medications, you know, for when you do need it because we, there obviously is a need for that. But a doctor of health is someone that cares about your health as much as they care as much as you do. And someone that wants to be, you know, like one of the things that my grandfather, who was AGI for many, many years, one of the things that he lamented towards the end of his life was that he was, he lived, he one of the, one of the things he loved about being a doctor was his relationship to his patients.

54:48 And towards the end of his career, the, the hospital, wouldn't, you know, and obviously they have to protect themselves. Lawsuits all the time, every day, every minute of every day. I totally, I, I, I, I, I wouldn't know what to do if I were on, if I were their size. Maybe the answer is not to get to their size. I don't know. But you know, but he, he would lament and he's like, you know, now I can't even, I'm not even allowed to know who my, I barely know. My patients can't contact me, you know, like I, I'm not allowed to go see them if, if I'm not the doctor on call, he's like, and then they end up having to explain this. And imagine having to explain yourself, your medical history to someone 10 times in 10 years or five years. And what if you forget something? What if one doctor knows you better?

55:29 It's like, oh, wait, didn't you used to smoke 10 years ago? And you just, you know, you forgot to bring that up or, you know, didn't you say that you started taking XY and Z and like, oh, right, right, right. But you don't have that opportunity. So many people fall through the cracks otherwise, you know, and so I think that a doctor of health would be I guess that's what you call health coach, you know, I mean, it's really what what you what you'd want, I guess, But I think that they should be way more regular for a lot of people. So I mean a. Lot of doctors now do work or having their practices and health coaches for that exact reason. Yeah, we do. It's Yeah. You know, people just don't want a script, right? You want to understand what can you do alongside that script or without that script in place to get to your health goals.

56:14 And to your point, doctors, it's become like a sausage machine. They have to see X amount of patients and there's so many barriers in place for you to build a natural rapport with that doctor. So it's very, very difficult. But that doesn't negate the fact that the doctor, when he is sitting or she's sitting across from you, listens to you and it asks you to self advocate and allows you to question and not just be dogmatical. This is, but we don't. Have, I don't think we have a lot of either unfortunately, or at least in the States, because in the states, the health crisis being the way that it is, I would, and I don't, I don't, I, I'm not, I don't want to make you even seem a little bit like I'm putting any kind of blame on anybody in this scenario.

56:58 But the way that we, you know, especially myself, the way I think about a doctor is I have a body and a doctor is a personal mechanic, you know, And so like, you know, if my arm hurts, then like I go to the doctor and he gives me something and makes my arm feel better. And then I move on with my life. And like, I don't think about why my arm hurt. I don't think about what happens after. I don't think how long, what the medication is. I'm like, he's a doctor. It's his job to be a personal mechanic. And I'm there, you know, And so I spent most, I spent 2827 years of my life not thinking about, you know, doctors as anything but people, mechanics. And I think that a lot of a lot of people in this country think about them like that. And so the question I think that you, I don't think a lot of people are coming at going to a doctor from a place of is this maintenance for my body as opposed to like, I just need a quick fix and like this is inconvenient for me. So I want to be in and out of here and be better tomorrow because I have to go back to work and take care of my kids or whatever, you know.

57:57 And so I think that's what the I think that's a bit. And so even doctors that would be willing to listen, you know, aren't even getting clientele or patients that are even sitting in and opening up to them necessarily, you know, well, I think. You know, a lot of people have shifted to functional meds and doctors looking for that more holistic and whole body approach. I hope so, yeah. I mean, I see a lot of people and people that haven't are very curious and are looking into it and and are wanting to understand it more. And there's a place for traditional doctors. Absolutely. They save lives. They they are an an incredibly important pillar of our society.

58:39 But you don't go into a doctor's room with high cholesterol for him just to give you a statin and walk out. And for me, you know, that doctor needs to be educating you and making lifestyle choices, right, about implementing healthy lifestyle changes, exercise, diet, stress management, breath work and stress reduction, all these kind of things. And with the number of patients doctors are having to see, they don't have the luxury of doing that. So part of the system allows them to be effective and part of the system doesn't allow them to be effective. But those in private practice need to take the time to give the patients that kind of level of treatment. It's not about going in for script. And so if your cholesterol continues to rise, what, you just get a higher dose of medication, right? I well, I hope not, but I think a lot of people think so. So so.

59:34 That's my point about self advocating, you know, is points I think. We're and we're, we're, we're hitting a turning point because people, like you said, I think people are. I think that though, where I think it's funny, again, you know, political, anything political aside, RFK ran a platform meant for presidency on a platform of we're sick, we should be healthier. And like no one like it's not about Medicaid, it's not about health insurance. It's not about like, it's not about who's paying whose insurance bills or who's paying whose medical bills or whose student loan bills. He's like, our kids are sick, we're sick, we're not healthy, we need to change. And like, again, political or not any like it's just fascinating that, that, that, and not even is it fascinating. It shows that it's.

1:00:21 It's in the zeitgeist, like people are thinking about it. People are aware of that and people's attention are brought to it. So much so that it had a significant sway on, on an election, you know, and that should hopefully be a we can read the, the, the we could, we could put our finger on the pulse of the country and be like, whoa, like that means something, You know, people don't want to feel like crap. Absolutely. And we live in an age where so much is available to us, right? And we can, we can look into anything we want to look into. We can get as much information as we want to. Every doctor is accessible today via podcasts, via a book, via a a Ted talk, a YouTube channel, whatever else.

1:01:08 We have so much available to us that the surprising thing is so few people know where to look that that tide is changing. People are becoming more educated and the more educated people are becoming with regards to their health and being, it's a cliched term, the CEO of their own health, the more empowered they are too push towards change, wanting change where Kennedy can stand up and, and say and do as he has and people rallying behind it because people are tired of being sick. People are tired of spending the last 20 years of their life in ill health and not enjoying what you know, the labours of, of, of the fruit are. So people are driving more and more and wanting more and more and, and the medical system is going to have to change with them because people are demanding it and people. Are also retroactive myself included retroactively upset that like this was even allowed to be in the food to begin with you know like like that that that that also you know like it's funny I I went to Trader Joe's the other day and I'm you know and I'm in AI see my favorite snack and it's one of those snacks like that survived like the purge in terms of all them but like we never examined too closely because it always like had a relatively healthy looking name or label and I looked at the back and I'm like oh man it hurts my heart to think that I've been putting this in my butt Oh my gosh I know and I was like.

1:02:39 And. You feel I felt betrayed. I'm like, oh man, I thought you were my friend. I thought these like, you know, thin men balls were like my friend, you know, these were they the Girl Scout, The Girl Scout cookies in little bite sized balls that were just like you really. Thought that was going to be healthy. You were just kidding, I thought. That if you put the word real in front of it, that it works out. Can you, can we talk a little bit about what it was like growing up in South Africa? Yeah. So growing up in South Africa was was it was a beautiful time. We didn't have anything about the. Country, by the way, so you could I, I have like I would love to be educated about generally the country overall. So if you want to put in as much commentary context for color, I would love to hear it.

1:03:29 So South Africa is, is really a beautiful country. It's very small in comparison to the US, but it's a very rich in culture. We, we, we had a very colonial and very European influence in South Africa. And it is very, very diverse, but in a, in a very positive and, and beautiful way. Growing up was very much farm to table kind of food. I mean, we of course we went out for dinners, but they were to proper restaurants and proper food. And you know, you if you wanted a hamburger, you had a hamburger at home and it was with pure ground beef and and you know, real lettuce that only lasts for four days in your fridge and not for six weeks.

1:04:21 No genetically modified yet. Growing up very it was clean there. It was so food, food. There was much cleaner Much. Cleaner, much cleaner, good farming practices back when I was growing up and very good quality food. Even now when, when I do go back to South Africa to visit, I'm always taken by the quality of the food. And I mean we, we export so much. Our fruit is, is incredible. Our wands are world renowned, our mountains are Cape Town is, is world renowned. But growing up was, was, was incredibly wholesome, very diverse. As I said, I, I grew up in the apartheid era of South Africa.

1:05:05 So I was very shielded and very privileged in, in the environment that I grew up in. And when I had my oldest son was was when the tide started turning and and democracy came in and even then just an incredibly rich country with regards to resources, minerals and and diversity of, of people. So South Africa is a beautiful country. I mean, wildlife and safaris, We, we call it going to the Bush, which is something we call it. Yeah, it's we, we go to the Bush and, and we absolutely love it.

1:05:46 And you're close to nature and it's, it kind of feeds into what I do. You know, when you find joy and, and you find beauty and it fills your soul and it just resonates with you. Going back to South Africa doing that is just spectacular. Growing up, I mean I, I really had a beautiful upbringing riding my bike in the road and listening to my mother whistle at the end of the driveway. It was time to come home. No cell phones, no, no anything, just just enjoying being a child. And but when my kids were growing up that wasn't the case. They couldn't ride bicycles in the road. No, no. So unfortunately crime is quite high in South Africa and the politics is quite challenging in South Africa. So my what capacity?

1:06:35 How's it, how's it complicated? How's it difficult? I guess I just don't know anything about it so. We went from a really strict apartheid era where it was run by the Nationalist Party to the when Mandela came out of prison and we moved over to democracy and the ANC came into power and whilst Mandela was alive, there was so much unity. I don't know if you remember the 22 in World Cup soccer. The whole world descended on South Africa. It was just such a an incredible time of happiness and positivity and within 25. 30 years of that. Yeah, so, well, not that many.

1:07:23 And so, you know, things started changing and, and South Africa's political narrative was, was, was pretty much more 1 sided. And the, this whole unity prospect that, that we bought into and believe what was going to happen really didn't happen. And these huge disparities in, in the educational system, the government based educational system and the private school educational system. And you know, when you only need a 35 or 40% pass rate to pass the subject, you know, for me, that's worrying. You know, that's.

1:08:03 Really you you need a 35 or 40% to pass the subject. Yep, certain subjects and, and. And that's really a problem, you know, so when you start seeing the disparities in the educational systems and you realize that my children went to private schools and, and they had the best of the best education. And the kids that come from underprivileged homes get a government education system. They don't necessarily always have books. They don't have flushing toilets. They don't. Yeah, they don't always have the right number of disks for every child. Some children have to walk kilometers and kilometers to get to school and back every single day.

1:08:49 You know, a lot of young girls are pregnant that are still trying to finish school and have got children in daycare. So it's a hard system and it's it's a beautiful country with so many amazing resources, so much potential and people that despite this set of circumstances, smile and cannot offer enough of themselves to you. And you, you come across a South African, you will never know warmth and generosity of heart and soul as you would when you come to South Africa. So it's it's a country that is just so near and dear as as I said to to friends now living in the US, my soul is in Africa, in South Africa, my heart's here in the US. But they're two very different countries and they offer two very different things.

1:09:45 And I think as South Africa is changing and and a coalition government has come into power now and things start balancing more from a political point of view, I think there will be some very positive changes. Right now we've got a failing infrastructure. Go for major power cuts, the water filtration system, major problems with that. So is it bureaucracy and or corruption that's stopping cleaning that up? Is that, is that typical? I mean, it's like that in America, right? You have certain cities in America.

1:10:25 I can't even believe that this looks the way it does, considering what we what it could look like so easily with just a swipe of a pen or a snap of a finger, you know, snap of a finger. It could really just be like that. It feels the same way there. Absolutely. And that's why I'm saying as, as the, the coalition government is coming into place and the next few elections, I think will be very important to start eradicating that kind of behaviour and to, to get infrastructure back to where it needs to be. And you, you can't have people without electricity for days on end, for 8 hours a day. How do you feed children?

1:11:06 How do you take care of of the aged population? I mean, potholes in roads and things like that. So as a, as a, as a South African, my, my, my hope and wishes is that my pray that they get to that point. And it's showing promising the results that it's it's moving in that direction, but it's going to take the next few elections to get to that point and to get crime under control. You know, when you've got people that are living, the vast majority of the population living under the bread line and people are desperate and they do desperate things. And you know, unfortunately, human life doesn't have a price, but it has a price. It does there.

1:11:52 I I just watched. I just watched and then we'll go back to this. Why I don't forget it is there's a show called Traffic. Did you ever hear of it? It's on Hulu. And it's. So it's a woman who's an investigative journalist, her name is Marianna Van Zeller, I think. And she and each season, I think is like 10 or 14 episodes of individual cases of underground worlds that she investigates. So she's just like fentanyl, selling human body parts, organs, Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then, and then I just showed my class yesterday actually, that episode with, with, with hired mercenaries. And I, I believe it was South Africa. I think it was South Africa that she went to. She said it was like the hub of, of, of where you could, where you could find mercenaries.

1:12:43 Like, like, you ask, you call a cab, like people who log up to you say, hey, like, do you need a hit done, you know? Well, it's it's not a great reputation to have, right? No, I'm not great. But yeah, I guess that's case in point. It's really terrible. It's so sad. It's it's crazy. It's crazy to think that you got four years ago, you came in, you came to this country and like that is like a total parallel reality that like no one of this country would even like really conceive, you know, like it's so different pinch. Myself, I'll walk down the road to dinner with a girlfriend and I won't even bat an eyelid. I could never do that in South Africa. Yeah.

1:13:27 It's amazing. It's crazy, yeah. You know I have friends. That say the same thing on Mexico too, by the way, I have friends from Mexico that are like past 6-7 PM, like if they're going to their friend down the block, they're Ubering like they're not, they're not walking alone at night. They're not doing anything like that. How did because you mentioned coalitions and I don't how does the government work there in terms because I know the only types of governments I really know are how American government works. I know how the Israeli government kind of works a little bit, even though it's also a shit show, but I do understand the notion they don't. Be well right now, right? I think governments are not fearing well right now, no. Not well. You could ask Argentina how they feel.

1:14:08 I think they're a little happier. But, but I know that. So in Israel, like, they make coalitions and like there's a certain amount of seats and each seat belongs to a different party. And then if you want to win, if you don't have enough seats by yourself, you have to make a coalition. But that coalition could collapse at any point if someone pulls out then. And so elections could technically happen every six months if you know if that was the case. How does it work in South Africa so. Up and up until this last election was the ANC, the African National Congress Party and they were the ruling party and in this last election.

1:14:54 How often are they every four? Years, OK. And a party in there's a party that's in charge or a leader of a party that's in charge, correct? OK. So, so the ANC was the ruling party and in this last election they obviously lost a number of the the ballots to not be the ruling party anymore, but marginally, right. So before every five years, every five years is an election in South Africa. And so now we've got the DA, which is a Democratic Party and they have got certain number of seats in in parliament.

1:15:42 And so they are carving out a way how to bring more of the democratic viewpoints and representatives into the government. And how do you do? That are they appointed or voted or how does that work they. Are so they were the majority winning party out of the percentage that the ANC lost. So they came in and then between the ANC and the Democratic Party, they elected various officials into various roles. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha.

1:16:22 Gotcha. Cool. OK. And that's how stuff gets done. So. So who the officials actually are is not necessarily up to the people. The people would like to party, Correct. I guess that's where the room for a lot of corruption comes in, right? Because I mean, if you'll bounce from party to party. No, it's it's not like the US, where sometimes you're Republicans, sometimes you're not. Tulsi Gabbard. Right. Tulsi Gabbard went from Democrats to YEAH to Republican. So in South Africa it's it's pretty stable. People are either for or against. You don't see much crossing over the the line over there at all. And what's most important is that the parties are able to work together in order to forge a path forward. South Africa is very rich in natural mineral resources. We export, as I said, wines and our produce is exceptional and we have an incredible strong workforce available and readily available labour.

1:17:29 So with the right government and the right structures in place, it really is going on the world. It's it's got all the potential in the world and again, the most beautiful people. Yeah, I have to go check it out. I want to go check it out if you. Have a good list of places to go to? It's tough. It's a six hour time difference from the states. Correct in summer 6 and in winter 7. Because you guys don't do a daylight savings? No, because you're smarter than that. I still. Can't figure it out. I'm hoping one day I'll get it the only. Thing that I know is that when daily savings daylight savings hit, my 2 year old did not go went to bed an hour and a half later for the next month. So I did not love that personally. But you know, I'm sure it exists for a reason. I don't know what it is.

1:18:20 Do you, do you know anything about that? Do you know of anything about daylight savings and the fact I guess has affecting your circadian rhythm, right? As to when, when the sun's coming up, when you feel like you're able to actually get your day started. Exactly. So I mean, one of the ways in order to, to combat or, or get into the daylight saving is that when you wake up with the sun and you go and you stand outside in the natural sunlight, you set your circadian ribbon right. And obviously your body naturally will start releasing melatonin earlier in the, in the, in the early evening because it's, it's getting darker earlier. So your body naturally changes. It knows what to do.

1:19:01 I mean, to spots ourselves, our bodies know what they're doing. It can heal itself, it can do a multitude of things, but we get in the way. Of our bodies so many times we. Get in the web. Our bodies, they know exactly what they're doing. We, we just pretend we know more. But it's, and you do you see it with older people and you see it with kids. They naturally go in and out of the, the, the daylight savings so much better because their bodies move. They don't fight the time change. They don't fight the sun coming up and going down. So for me, the best thing to do is to go outside as as early as you can with the light and in the middle of the day, go outside. Your body knows how to read that as well. And towards the end of the day as well, to kind of get that natural melatonin released.

1:19:50 Grounding goes with it. And yeah. Yeah, Are you a big grounder? Well, I do believe in this, so I understand I'm. Just asking you, there's nothing. There's not as. Much time do you ground as often as possible? I, I wish I, I could say yes, I do, but I don't. But the minute I have an opportunity to, I do And I do when I travel and and my kids and my husband laugh at me. I like, take off your shoes, get your toes whittled in the ground. Let's kill them up. I mean, in South Africa, I don't think we ever wore shoes. I mean, growing up like a shoe was something you had to wear to to church or to go to school. But I mean, we go to school and our shoes were off and we ran around barefoot.

1:20:33 So I've pretty much felt like my whole life I've always seeked out to feel connected to the earth. You know, I slept on a grounding mat for a while to see how that did and how'd that go It, It was interesting. I, I think I was in a bad sleeping phase at the time that I was trying to use it. So to be fair, I don't think I gave it the full opportunity, but I'm forever experimenting. Whatever there's going, I want to try it. I want to feel it. I want to know that it is working or isn't working. I want to see the difference on my body. So I do, I try lots of different things just to see because I can.

1:21:15 You know, our bodies are marvelous things. And I just want to see what, what works the best and responds the best to. Yeah. I, I have to work very hard to get past this, but I hate when I'm dismissive of just like when I hear something and like my immediate instincts is like, Nah, like what am I saying? I, I, why am I, why would I? I don't know anything about a lot of things, you know, like, I don't know what I'd be dismissing and why I dismiss out of hand. It's funny because, you know, my mom would also would always would, would say things that that for years I would laugh at her. You know, I had a dry skin on my face when I was in high school, right? Or when I was in college. I had, you know, I had, I had dry skin or, or dandruff. And she's like, what you eat alcohol. And I'm like, don't be ridiculous, you know, and I, I, and we're getting so upset.

1:22:07 And I'm like you're saying just giving you a doctor. I, I, I was thinking, give me a, give me a prescription. I don't want to, you know, like that, that can't possibly be what the case is. And, and then I realized that she was right, you know, and that's things that she got from her mom and things that she got from her mom. And it's actually, I was talking to a student the other day and we're talking about breathing and just, you know, how important it is to get your breathing under control at different points and, you know, depending what you're trying to accomplish, right? But I was like, breathing is everything. He's like, what do you mean? I said, well, what do you do when you panic? He's like, you hyperventilate. I was like, and how do you get yourself out of what people tell you to do to calm down?

1:22:48 Like deep breath. I was like, great. I was like, and now when you're, when you're boxing, you're fighting because he, he boxes when you're fighting. What do they tell you to do? He's like, breathe. I was like, when you're jogging, what do they tell you to do? He's like, Oh my God. And I was like, dude, I was like, he goes, oh, because he told me he's having a hard time sleeping. So I was like, if jogging and running and thinking and emotional regulation is all connected to to breathing, I bet breathing probably would help you sleeping. And he's like, right, but I don't think that. But when he initial, but I had to explain that concept to him when I initially told him, are you breathing? You focus on how you breathe. He looked at me that I was crazy, you know, And so like, I think the biggest thing that gets in most people's way is that we are either not curious or we are dismissive.

1:23:34 And I think both of those are really, really potentially deadly traits. You know, they could kill you. They're very. Limiting, right? Yeah, and so many times people really do underestimate the the value of breathing and how many people hold their breath. So when you first did it, I held my breath because you are the hyperventilator. You hold your breath. And often you've just got to say to somebody breathe out, just breathe. Like all of a sudden they realise. And I was actually having a chat to, to my one son today as well about he was like, oh, every time I wake up during the night, I said, well, breathe. And he says, OK, I do box breathing.

1:24:15 I say, well, no, try this other breathing exercise. It's, you know, just try that tonight. Maybe that will help, you know, because it's natural to wake up. It's natural to feel in any circumstances in life, stressed or worked out or worried or whatever it is. And, and breath is your friend. Breath is really your friend. It can help regulate your emotions, which is critical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to start. I have to. My wife just went last night with her with her sister to a breath work class and she came back and she told me I'd have to do it. And we don't have time for this right now, but when we do another episode, if we do another episode, we'll you can talk more about it. But I'm a big advocate of psychedelics. And so when my wife told me that, and I've heard before that breath work gets you to the same place and, and I'm curious and a little nervous to try it out, but I, I have to, I want to, I want to get myself to get there again. It's.

1:25:13 The same thing. It's a, it's a fear of the, you know, it's a, it's not, it's not even skepticism, just like the new thing. I just think I don't want to do something new, but I know I want to. I'm happy to. Do psychedelics and you're happy to do weed but you're worried about breathing. We need to. I don't know where it's going. To take me because I don't know where it's going to take me like what the I've only. Experienced it once I we had like a forum situation and, and we brought in a resource and we went from a meditation into this breath work. And I've never done breathing like this for 10 minutes solid in my life. And I cannot tell you the sense of euphoria I had. I cried, I hyperventilated, I felt A rush of emotions like I've never had.

1:26:03 I've never experienced anything in my life what I experienced in that 10 minutes of breath work. So there's a lot of power in it, but again, I don't do. It I want to do it. And not being dismissive of trying all these things, these things are good, are all good and natural and healthy. And it's like you've got to try to understand what works and doesn't work for you. So you know, on on your path to longevity and, and living young and vibrant, vibrantly and full of vitality. You've got to try all these different modalities and just stick with what works. And if it doesn't work there, tried it move on. I know it's going to work. I have to.

1:26:45 I have to do it. Thank you. So much for the time. Thanks so much for getting back to me and for agreeing to do. This is so much fun and I think this is a really, really, really thoughtful and fun conversation. Exactly the coin that I really was looking forward to. So I hope to be in touch. I, there's actually like 5 or 6 different topics that I'd written down that we didn't get to, but maybe we will do this again sometime. I hope to be in touch and I will post this. This episode will probably be posted on Monday, if that's OK with you. But thank you so much. This is so nice talking, so nice meeting you, and I hope to be in touch. All right, Yeah, you.

1:27:27 Too. Thank you so much for the time. There's so much fun. Take care, have a good one. Bye.